When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them. -Lisa Arends
When an onion grows, it produces layers around it’s core in order to protect itself. When animals or insects eat into the onion, they first must eat through the outer layers before the core is reached, which would severely damage and threaten the life of the onion. As a result, the layers protect the onion from being easily destroyed by external forces.
In my opinion, people are a lot like onions. As we grow and mature, we learn to develop barriers that protect us from the potential harm of others. Starting out, our layers of self-protection are strongly influenced by our parents and loved ones around us. As we grow and mature, these layers are strengthened and new ones are added. If someone makes it through our layers of self-protection and hurts us, we respond by adding another layer. The cycle continues as we add layer upon layer to try and protect ourselves from the hurt and pain that the world makes us feel.
If our layers of self-protection are negative, they can be counterproductive. We are not onions, and not everything that attempts to break through our layers is harmful. Well-meaning, caring people can be deterred by the layers of protection surrounding us, and although we have successfully protected ourselves from potential hurt, we have also prohibited potential health and healing. Sometimes people who need love and compassion the most do not receive it because their layers of self-protection won’t allow anyone close enough.
Negative layers of self-protection:
- Fear
- Allowing past and potential harm to influence present and future relationships.
- Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. -Philippians 4:6
- Pride
- Being unwilling to accept help, compassion, admit fault, etc.
- Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall. -Proverbs 16:18
- Shame
- Feeling unworthy of the attention or care of others.
- The godly hate lies; the wicked cause shame and disgrace. -Proverbs 13:5
- Guilt
- Allowing past decisions to influence present and future relationships.
- My guilt overwhelms me- it is a burden too heavy to bear. -Psalm 38:4
- Anger
- Allowing past or present circumstances to influence present and future relationships.
- Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. -James 1:20
Positive layers of self-protection:
- Trust
- God is in control of your life- He will take care of you and be your protector.
- I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? -Psalm 56:11
- Humility
- Willingness to admit fault and to serve others despite the risks.
- God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. -Matthew 5:5
- Love
- Accept God’s love with open arms. He loves you unconditionally.
- But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. -Romans 5:8
- Forgiveness
- Accept God’s forgiveness for your past, and forgive others as He forgave you- including yourself.
- Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, You forgive them all. -Psalms 65:3
- Compassion
- Authentic care and concern for others.
- But You, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. -Psalm 86:15
The big difference
